Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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