He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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