Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
