I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
