i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
love makes seman taste better
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
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