idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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