I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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