We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
