Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
