No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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