i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
