im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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