I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I got her a Nickelback box set.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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