threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize