Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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