Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
