Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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