I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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