He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
