Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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