Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
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I feel like my teeth are sweating.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
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"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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