piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize