i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
