FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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