My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Even my vagina gasped.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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