Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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