Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
