is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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