i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
where does the pee come out of this thing
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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