im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar