Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.