I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.