Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?