so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
