Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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