I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
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According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
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your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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