how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
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