So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
