he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
