Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
