i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
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