I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I pour the whiskey from now on
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
