Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
