he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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