Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
