sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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