Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
