Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
