I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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