I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
