is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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