I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
