my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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