Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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