Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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