I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
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