he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
my poor anus
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
