Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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