I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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