lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
