your room smells of hookers.
And success
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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