well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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