Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
