My brain says no but my pants say off.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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