I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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