Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My hand turned me down
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
