White coat. Heels.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
