haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
