I'm jealous of your bromance
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
