You made me cry and you don't even care
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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