and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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