I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How naked do you want me to be?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
