Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
