I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
